I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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