One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
