sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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