then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
