am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize