theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
