Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
