Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize