I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
