Soap is not a condiment
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
