cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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