so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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