he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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