i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize