She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
