Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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