i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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