Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize