moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
