Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
