dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
