they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
