Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
