This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
