no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
God I need to hump something, right now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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