Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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