walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
