I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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