The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
