He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
