id be glad to
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
