His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
