i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
