What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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