apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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