that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
