I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize