I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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