Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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