I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
