Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize