You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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