Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
