cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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