Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
