I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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