yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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