You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
