I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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