But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
