What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize