I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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