You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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