I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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