By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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