How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
