He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
