Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
zippers are such a cool invention
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
