i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
